Redefining What It Means to Be a Good Parent

by Victoria Sill for Before the Bell

Before I had children, I thought I knew what being a “good parent” would look like. I imagined a beautifully decorated nursery (with a crib my baby would actually love), shelves of brand-new gear from my registry, and sweet, snuggly moments straight out of Pinterest. 

Fast forward several years and a lot of humbling experiences, and my definition looks completely different. Good parenting, I’ve learned, is so much simpler and much more meaningful than what I pictured. 

Here are a few lessons that have reshaped how I see “good parenting.” 

Emotional Maturity Matters Most  

Kids don’t stick to plans. They live fully in the moment. That means parenting is less about controlling situations and more about learning to regulate my own emotions so I can guide theirs. 

Instead of reacting to meltdowns with frustration, I’m practicing calm, steady responses. Big emotions aren’t manipulation — they’re communication. My children are asking for connection, safety or maybe just a snack. 

Understanding Goes Deeper Than Words 

At first, I thought understanding meant explaining things clearly or validating feelings. Now I know it’s about listening beyond the words.

When my kids are upset, it’s not about fixing things quickly. It’s about slowing down, getting on their level, and helping them feel truly seen. 

Organization Is a Form of Love 

I’ll be honest: I’ve never been a planner. But parenthood, especially with a child who has food allergies, pushed me to change. Double-checking ingredients, prepping meals and setting up systems have become essentials. 

Being organized keeps my kids safe, makes family outings possible and eases my own mental load. Sometimes, structure is just another way to show love. 

Presence Is the Real Gift 

Of all the shifts I’ve made, the biggest is this: being present. 

Not with fancy toys or constant activities. Not with Instagram-worthy perfection. Just with my time, my eyes, my ears.

Closing the laptop, setting down the phone, and simply being there. Playing, reading, listening. That’s what my kids remember. And it’s what I’ll remember, too. 

Finding Tools That Help   

One resource that’s supported me is right here on BeforetheBellOK.org. The simple tips and tools remind me to slow down and connect.

My kids and I love the playlists, and I was able to sign my son up for free, age-appropriate books through Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library, a monthly delivery that makes reading together even easier.   

The New Definition of “Good Parenting” 

"Presence is powerful. It’s what they’ll remember — and what I’ll remember, too."

Good parenting isn’t about having the newest gear or picture-perfect routines. It’s about patience. Grace. Presence. 

It’s about learning to slow down in a fast world, to be kind and calming, and to build the connections that matter most. That’s what our kids will remember. And that’s what will matter to us, too. 

✦ Need ideas for simple, meaningful moments? Find the resources you need most by taking our quiz!  

Victoria Hubbard Still is an influencer and mother of two.